We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
