And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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