we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
