I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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