At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
