how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
