we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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