I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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