The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
