The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
