the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Pappa wants mamma naked
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
