Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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