Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
