i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Farmville is her only friend.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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