So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
