Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
