so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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