three words: i give head
three words: not that well
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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