i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
