Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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