Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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