i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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