Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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