this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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