Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
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