I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext me about skeletons
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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