Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
