your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
