Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
How did I end up in the pool?!
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I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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