i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
