Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
