Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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