are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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