how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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