Don't you send me to vm
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
