where does the pee come out of this thing
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
