Buhtt sex?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
