i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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