It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
