either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
