So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
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