Ambien. No doubt about it.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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