that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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