I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
