some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
We need a shit load of segways right now
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
