Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
