I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
