pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
