can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
