Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize