Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Randomize
