just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Is Oprah even human
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
