i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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