have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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