She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
is wine microwaveable?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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