I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
