His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
