if i can run in heels then i can drive
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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