So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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