this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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